I often feel that I need to bite my tongue, rather than ask for what I need. I feel that the world around me doesn’t much want to hear about my needs, my feelings, my sadness. Sometimes I feel that not being a Mum can mean my need for rest, compassion and comfort means fuck all. I mean…what have I done in the world to have earned that?

Have I created a human? Nope.

Have I had a full night’s sleep? You betcha.

What the hell could I possibly need, that I can’t organise for myself? I am a rock…and an island, right?

I’m not a rock. Not by a mile. I’m seen that way by many, always the strong one, always the one who is fully resourced & available. Sometimes I’m not strong, often I don’t have it all worked out. I’m slowly learning to admit that to myself & to the people who care about me.

(Image Credit - Unknown. I cannot find who created this image, 
whoever you are, thank you)

I’m beginning to figure out what it is that I need too…and that changes all the time. I need to spend time with beautiful kiddos, to celebrate their energy & utter joy. Before I know it, I need to find a few moments of solitude because it hurts like a motherfucker. I need to be seen in the world, as I am… I need time (more of it, yes) to figure out what’s next, to find another new groove.

I want to feel validated, to feel that I matter, that I bring value even without being a Mum. The truth that I’m slowly beginning to grasp, is that my own validation is all that matters.


That stiff upper lip I’ve been cultivating all my life isn’t serving me any longer. I’m asking for what I need.