I often feel that I need to bite my tongue, rather than ask for what I need. I feel that the world around me doesn’t much want to hear about my needs, my feelings, my sadness. Sometimes I feel that not being a Mum can mean my need for rest, compassion and comfort means fuck all. I mean…what have I done in the world to have earned that?
Have I created a human? Nope.
Have I had a full night’s sleep? You betcha.
What the hell could I possibly need, that I can’t organise for myself? I am a rock…and an island, right?
I’m not a rock. Not by a mile. I’m seen that way by many, always the strong one, always the one who is fully resourced & available. Sometimes I’m not strong, often I don’t have it all worked out. I’m slowly learning to admit that to myself & to the people who care about me.
(Image Credit - Unknown. I cannot find who created this image, whoever you are, thank you)
I’m beginning to figure out what it is that I need too…and that changes all the time. I need to spend time with beautiful kiddos, to celebrate their energy & utter joy. Before I know it, I need to find a few moments of solitude because it hurts like a motherfucker. I need to be seen in the world, as I am… I need time (more of it, yes) to figure out what’s next, to find another new groove.
I want to feel validated, to feel that I matter, that I bring value even without being a Mum. The truth that I’m slowly beginning to grasp, is that my own validation is all that matters.